Scholesy Does It Again

PAUL SCHOLES! HE SCORES GOALS! as the old chant goes. He doesn't score as many as he used and he hadn't scored in the Champions League since 2006. This season he had only scored once in all competitions but you can't say enough about the importance of timing. Just ask Scholes; back in 1999 the ginger-haired one chose the semifinal vs Juventus to pick up his 5th yellow card of the competition and was suspended for the epic Champions League triumph over Bayern Munich. Nearly a decade later the Ginger Prince seized upon an errant Xavi clearance 14 minutes into the contest and conjured up a bit of magic to remind us all why he will be the first name on the team sheet for the Moscow final in 3 weeks time.

Scholesy's 30 yard screamer proved to be the difference in an enthralling, and at times nerve-wracking, fixture. Barcelona had their chances to equalize but at times I could have sworn we were playing Arsenal out there with Barcelona oddly reluctant to actually test us with some shots on goal. Another puzzling choice was that of Thierry Henry, so often deadly against us in his old Arsenal days, starting on the bench and only coming on with 20 minutes to play. This is surely Rijkaard's final season coaching Barcelona after another trophy-less season where he has shown he can no longer handle the many superstar personalities of Barcelona.

Now to the player ratings:

Cristiano Ronaldo: 5/10 Petulant and immature, sloppy and selfish with possession and didn't match the effort of his teammates. Predictably ineffectual in the big game once again and I was a bit disappointed he wasn't subbed off instead of Nani late on.
Nani: 7/10 Pace caused Barcelona problems all night and upstaged his fellow Portuguese high-stepper.
Carlos Tevez: 7/10 An absolute pitbull up front and did well to disrupt the flow of Barcelona.
Paul Scholes: 9/10 Scored the vital goal and showed once again why he's one of the great midfielders of his generation with his intelligent and accurate passing.
Michael Carrick: 6/10 Did well to help Scholes manage the midfield and protect the backline.
Park Ji-Sung: 7/10 Gave us an incredible level of energy from start to finish, even coming close to scoring a couple times.
Owen Hargreaves: 7/10 Overall did well protecting his flank but ineffectual supporting the attack and had a couple nervous moments defending.
Patrice Evra: 8/10 Excellent defending and never once made me worry about any Barcelona attacks from the right wing. Also supported the left-wing attack and combined well with Ronaldo.
Wes Brown: 9/10 I usually give him a hard time, but he actually played excellent in place of the injured Vidic.
Rio Ferdinand: 8/10 Led by example wearing the captain's armband. The backline was superb and
Edwin van der Sar: 7/10 Typically steady in goal.

Man of the Match: Wes Brown. Scholes is the sentimental favorite plus he scored the winner but I'm gonna give it to the darkhorse. Against, in my opinion, the most dangerous attack in all of Europe, he stepped into Vidic's place and produced a fine defensive display without which we probably would've conceded a goal late on.

All-around solid performance especially without the services of Rooney and Vidic but still much to improve, particularly from Ronaldo's end, before we can dream about lifting the cup in Moscow.

Just When You Thought I Was Getting Soft...

I know what you're thinking, first I confess my love for Mila, then I follow up with a measly picture post. Plus I haven't posted about Manchester United in ages. You're probably thinking I've lost my edge. Fair enough...

Things I hate:

1. United "fans" who are on their fucking phones the entire game about "maybe getting a couple bottles because y'know bro we'll probably roll with a crew of about 16, probably 10 dudes, but y'know bro nobody wants to commit because it's a lot of money and I'm gonna stay on the phone with you bro for 15 minutes and reiterate this same sentiment with little to no progress being made by the time I finally get off of the phone with you." AND THEN they come back and sit down to catch the end of the game, giving some empty applause for some empty effort on the field. Then they clap it up at the final whistle, feeling satisfied with a goalless draw where we squander a penalty opportunity away from home and get dominated on posession 2 to 1 from start to finish. Why do they do this? Because they don't really see what's going on in front of them because they're NOT REAL FUCKING FANS.

2. Headlines like "United Grind Out Valuable Draw" and "Solid Display Pleases Boss". They just don't sit well with me. Pleases? That kind of performance pleases you, Sir Alex? Where are our standards? I thought we were trying to make it to the Champions League final not just scrape by. We're in it to win it and you sure as fuck don't win it with 7 shots vs 20 from Barcelona, lack of direction, focus and shape, and generally dreadful play over 90 minutes. 27% posession? Were we allergic to the ball? And how exactly is this a good result for us? It makes the return game in Manchester a must-win while Barcelona only needs to score at least a goal and not lose. To qualify this as a good result I would have to be confident that we play better next game. Right now, I'm not.

3. Cristiano Ronaldo in big game situations. I know that's not exactly fair for me to say just a week after he stepped up for a penalty, stutter stepped, and scored against Arsenal--twice. But that still doesn't excuse the way he took that penalty today. Trying to power it just inside the post instead of just sending the keeper the wrong way and slotting it home comfortably. Fucking amateur. Steven Gerrard would have put it away. That's why he has a Champions League winner's medal and Ronaldo doesn't. There, I said it. Gerrard comes through in the clutch. Ronaldo falls down under challenges from defenders too easily and too often that when he does actually get fouled, particularly on two potential penalty calls in the 2nd half, the ref won't call it because he's the fucking pretty boy who cried wolf. And he loses his killer instinct that he usually has, his swag, and regresses to the Ronaldo of 4-5 years ago--holding the ball too long and either flicking fancy but harmless backpasses or just losing posession and falling to the ground...again.

Things I love:

Real World: Hollywood. Between Will and Sarah's forbidden romance, Joey's alcoholism, and Kimberly's latent racism; it's the only thing keeping me going.


All of the above being said, the most pivotal moment of the game came just before half-time when Rafa Marquez cynically tripped up Ronaldo and earned himself a yellow card--and more importantly, a suspension from the game in Manchester. With Barcelona shorn of their best and most tenacious defender and talismanic captain Carles Puyol still injured, United are actually in a good position to win back in Manchester, despite their worst efforts.

*Update: Puyol is not injured, he was just suspended, and he'll be back for next week's clash. So scratch that bit of optimism I had before. On the bright side Derek Rae wrote an article agreeing with my position on the perils of a goalless away draw which at least lets me know I'm not a ranting raving idiot. I'm just ranting and raving.

United Hold Serve In Lyon, Run Riot at St. James'

I'm gonna be honest. I'd rather be writing about the brilliance that is "Making The Band 4" that I'm currently enjoying thoroughly as I write this. It's almost as good as, dare I say, "America's Best Dance Crew"...dare I say. I haven't seen Mario Lopez so excited since Bayside beat Valley. JC Chasez's greatest achievements in life can be ranked as follows:
3. Being a member of N'SYNC
2. Being asked to judge for "America's Best Dance Crew" after Chris Judd and Michael Jackson's brother Tito both declined AND despite his distinct lack of dancing talent
1. Being asked to guest star on Blaque's chart-topper "Bring It All To Me" where he got to pretend to be "so for real", wear tims, baggy jeans and have "thug appeal". His words, not mine. Ok let me get back on point...

Rooney scores the pick of the bunch at Newcastle

United Hold Lyon, Gain Upper Hand
United gave me a bit of scare midweek by almost losing at Lyon in the Champions League. Thankfully Carlos Tevez equalized on a scrappy goal in the dying stages to earn United a valuable away goal and the upper hand in their two-leg affair. Too many appendages in that last sentence. Not much to say about this game except that Karim Benzema is the truth in the booth and is, without a doubt, one of the brightest young talents in all of football. Straight up. The holy trinity of French-North Africans he's about to form with Hatem Ben Arfa and Samir Nasri is going to terrorize teams from World Cup 2010 to infinity and beyond. And the just the thought of this possibilty nearly gives me an aneurysm. But , yknow, like a good aneurysm.

United Run Riot
United followed up an impressive CL away performance with another impressive away performance as they embarassed Newcastle in front of their home crowd 5-1. Rooney and Ronaldo scored twice each and Saha added the 5th. United were never troubled from the outset, just a comprehensive demoralization. Oh yea and Cristiano Ronaldo is the best player in the world, no big deal.

Reigning World Player of the Year, Kaka: 8 goals in 18 appearances.
Leading candidate for WPY, C. Ronaldo : 29 goals in 23 appearances.
(Strong) Advantage: Cristiano Ronaldo

The Italian Job
Fiorentina succumbed away at Roma, 1-0. Don't wanna talk much more about it, it's a touchy subject.

Tottenham celebrate their triumph over Chelsea

And Finally...Fuck You, Chelsea
The Chelski scum were beaten in the Carling Cup final 2-1 thanks to an extra-time winner from new signing Jonathan Woodgate. Suck on that you billionaire bastards.

Manchester Maul Arsenal & Mutu Shines Again

What a very, very good weekend it was. On Saturday Manchester United wiped the proverbial floor with Arsenal in their 5th round FA Cup tie to send them through to the quarterfinals by a 4-0 scoreline. Highlights here. The next day Fiorentina beat Catania 2-1 thanks to a 70th minute winner from the dreamy Adrian Mutu. Yeah, he's dreamy. I'm not gonna front. So let's start with the utter domination of Arsenal at Old Trafford:

What I like most about this consummate ass-beating was the virtual 2nd team that handed out the beating. All the pre-game chatter was about how Arsenal would rest their stars and United had the luxury of a full squad including the return of Wayne Rooney and Patrice Evra from suspension. Rooney and Evra did return to the starting lineup but that lineup also included a 5-man midfield of all second choice players. Regular starters Hargreaves, Scholes, Giggs, and Tevez were sitting as well as most notably Cristiano Ronaldo. Supposedly the game meant more to United. Didn't seem that way with the likes of Hleb, Kolo Toure and Fabregas all starting for Arsenal when they were all expected to sit meanwhile walking disaster Darren Fletcher started in our midfield as Ronaldo and his 27 goals sat on the sideline. The result was another masterstroke from Ferguson as the fresh-legged 5-man midfield and well-rested Rooney oozed energy and flair and blindsided Arsenal with 3 first half goals. Darren Fletcher added the 4th in the 2nd half after yet more domination, his 2nd of the game (shocking, I know). I'm a bit disappointed we didn't score 5.

Welcome Return
Wayne Rooney came back from suspension and showed just what United were missing in last week's loss to City as he could not be contained. His energy was incredible and he was at his precocious best. Unfortunately he was at his petulant worst picking up a completely unnecessary yellow card for time-wasting.

The Replacements
Nani had a hand in all 4 goals, scoring once and assisting twice. Both assists were to Darren Fletcher as the two briefly created a partnership to rival that of Stockton to Malone. His two headed goals aside, Fletcher was, predictably, otherwise generally inept. Anderson also caught the eye with a typically energetic performance, doggedly chasing down and winning almost every ball in his vicinity as well as making the odd intelligent pass. If you take away the dreadlocks, turn his skin color white, and replace his soft-spoken broken English with an Irish bark; you could easily mistake him for a young Roy Keane.

Dirty Gunners
Adebayor was booked for diving in the box to prompt a rousing rendition of the classic chant "Same old Arsenal, always cheating" from the capacity crowd. Eboue was red carded for a heinous aerial assault on Evra. And to top it off captain William Gallas was lucky to escape punishment for a petulant kick at Nani after he made him look silly by running circles around him. You could almost say they were as dirty as Chris Berman's mouth. Almost.

Man of the Match: Michael Carrick
Made a case for a starting spot with his 2nd successive impressive performance after his goal last week vs Man City. Quietly dominated the midfield from start to finish with impressively subtle ball control and a brilliant array of passing talents on display. Also created the play of the game as he delivered a pinpoint lofted pass from 40 yards away to the foot of Nani which he tucked away for the 3rd goal.

Next Game
Man United travel to France midweek for the first leg of their tie with Lyon in the Champions League. Lyon is grossly underrated and they sort of make me nervous but coming off a confidence-boosting performance like this and with the return of Tevez, Giggs, and Ronaldo to the squad I'm cautiously optimistic we'll come home with an important away victory.

The Italian Job
Mutu is the fucking man. Nothing much else to report here. The win puts Fiorentina ahead of AC Milan in 4th place. It was Mutu's 13th goal of the season. No official statistic of his supermodel count this season but it's probably a similar figure.

A Day Of Remembrance...And A Derby As Well...

Today Manchester--both red and blue sides--came together for a moving and fitting tribute to those that perished in the Munich air disaster 50 years ago last Wednesday. 23 people died including 8 of the famed "Busby Babes" who won back-to-back league titles and were actually flying back from a Champions League semi-final when the crash occurred. Some ignorant City fans, including the pieces of shit who set off what sounded like fireworks outside the stadium during the minute's silence, forget that they lost one of their own in legendary keeper Frank Swift who was one of the 8 journalists also killed in the crash. It wasn't just a United tragedy, it wasn't just a Manchester tragedy or a football tragedy either; it was a tragedy.

"Forever remembered" was the motto of the occasion and the words rang true as the emotion was palpable even through the television screen during the solemn pre-match ceremonies and minute of silence. Sir Alex even gave Sven a seemingly genuine half-embrace after they both laid their respective club wreaths in the center circle. Ferguson said of the occasion: "I have never been more proud to be a part of Manchester United."

Now let's get to the actual daaarby. Rooney was suspended for the game after picking up his 5th yellow card of the season for diving in his last game. Incidentally, United are unbeaten with Rooney playing. Hmm...well the predictable happened without Rooney and an injured Saha (Saha? Injured? Get outta town) leaving the attacking burden on Tevez and making it easier for City to focus their defensive attention on the boy Ronaldo. Maybe we didn't have to loan out Angolan starlet Manucho to Greece, just a thought. City scored through the handiwork of the irrepressible Martin Petrov who is, dare I say, faster than Ronaldo. Vassell almost fluffed his chance like he usually does but scored on the rebound. City made it two before the half with new signing Benjani flicking on a Petrov cross just inside the far post. United proceeded to spend the majority of the 2nd half firmly entrenched in City's half of the pitch with little success and finally scored a consolatory goal in stoppage time through a strike from Michael Carrick trying to prove that he hasn't faded into oblivion since his gem of a game vs Roma last season.
Disappointing, obviously. Especially considering the way Arsenal have handled the same City side with ease this season. Still I'm not very concerned because when it comes down to it we have the stronger side: best central defensive partnership in the league, best midfield depth between Hargreaves, Carrick, the ever-improving Anderson, and now Scholes back, and the best player in the world playing absolutely out of his skin.

At least that's what I keep telling myself as I try to ignore the fact that Adebayor is fast becoming one of the most consistently deadly strikers in the league, Flamini is making everyone forget about Viera, and Alexander Hleb is proving that he's actually not a bad footballer (very good, in fact). Plus I keep hoping that Ronaldo will, for once, have a good game vs Arsenal/Chelsea/Liverpool. But that's not happening, nope. This is depressing. SO HOW BOUT THEM GIANTS? Wow never thought I'd see the day where the Giants make me feel better about a poor United performance. I'm feeling disoriented, where's my inhaler..

SUPERBOWL RUNNING DIARY

"David Tyree, that's all you gotta say" - Eli Manning, Superbowl MVP

Alright I'll be honest I'm a futbol man first before football but I like a little pigskin from time to time. Especially if that time is Super Bowl time. And my Giants are playing. Granted I don't own a single piece of Giants merchandise or apparel (except for my brother's old hoodie from the Dave Meggett days that I can't even find), I haven't watched a full game all season except the NFC Championship, and the only Giants game I've ever gone to was against the Vikings because my buddy Sam over at Vikings Vitals took me to it. Sam will also have a running diary for this momentous occasion. Anyway point is, I am, in fact, a Giants fan and I have a blog thus it is my civil duty to keep this running diary. Plus this is partly my marketing homework to report on the commercials. Moving forward...

Coin Toss: Patriots come out with a full entourage of 6 for the coin toss while the Giants come out with 4 including the wiley veteran punter Jeff Feagles. Advantage: Giants

Post-Coin Toss: Feagles makes the call, tails. Of course it's tails. Feagles never fails whether coin toss or coffin corner punt.

First series:
Two hand-offs to Jacobs to start, predictable. 3 and 6 and Eli converts to Plaxico for the first down. Mmmmm Plaxico purr for me baby purrr.

Random thought: Madison Hedgecock my have one of the more unfortunate names in the National Football League, and he's a fullback to boot.

The other Steve Smith gets his first catch for another first down.

Ahmad Bradshaw is confused and thinks he's Brandon Jacobs as he plows for a first down and carries Ty Warren for an extra couple yards.

"Tom Petty and the Heartbeakers for the halftime show?! Get out of town. I am just giddy with excitement. I am also outside of the coveted 18-34 age bracket, oh..." - Oldest man alive

Joe Buck makes himself useful and points out that Eli is 3-3 on 3rd down conversions as he slides out of the pockets and slings another first down to the other Steve Smith.

Update: Randall Gay comes out the worse for wear of the collision with Steve Smith and his return is questionable. Even Steve Smith getting in on the Jacobs mentality.

Brandon Jacobs is confused and thinks he's Ahmad Bradshaw as he tries to run outside. Role reversal didn't work out as well this time.

Manning can't convert the 3 and 10 and LT (Lawrence Tynes for you lames) converts the FG. Giants strike first, 3-0. Best part of the drive was that it lasted 10 minutes. More drives like that will take their toll on the aging linebacker core of the Patriots and keep Brady's juggernaut out of rhythm.

Patriots first series:
Fake reverse HB screen goes incomplete, otherwise...whew that was close. Maroney plows forward for 8 on the next play. Maroney again for 5 yards and a first down. "The blue dude! I don't like that guy..."

Patriots playing small ball with a short pass to Stallworth and a little dinker to Welker for another first down. Kevin Faulk goes for 10 yards on little dump pass for another first down. Just lulling us into a sleep before BAM Randy Moss hits us upside the head.

Antonio Pierce forgot to turn around and look at the ball and gets called for an obvious pass interference on Ben Watson. Nice.

What? Doritos? Message from my heart? iTunes? What? WHAT?

Touchdown Maroney after switching sides to the other side of the field to start the 2nd quarter. Not gonna lie, mildly disorienting. Patriots up 7-3.

Go Daddy commercial, just shameless. We get it Danica, you're sorta hot. You're not just one of the guys, you're not butch blah blah. Well on the plus side that'll definitely get you the respect you're looking for in the male-dominated racing culture. Oh wait...

Pam Anderson looking ROUGH in the crowd. Gisele looking...well I'm not gonna depress you all by reporting on this anymore.

Giant's second possession:
Amani TOOOOOOOMER with the big grab for 40 something yards, making dragging your feet inbounds look wayyy too easy once again. Also getting away with the obvious facemask, he's been around long enough he's allowed to do that.

"Eli is like really good now, huh?" - Sam, Vikings fan.

Fuck, spoke too soon. I should have known better to not put that quote up there. First interception thrown by Eli since Week 17. Ellis Hobbs both times.

"We may not be the best announcers out there..." - Joe Buck. Truer words have never been spoken.

Eli gets sacked for the first time tonight. Ahmad Bradshaw fumbles on the next play and the Patriots have recove--no wait the Giants somehow retained possession. Bradshaw made up for it and wrestled the ball back from Woods in the scrum. And now for the star of the show, Jeff Feagles...

Careerbuilder.com comes up with a real winner. Follow your heart. Powerful message, powerfully presented. A bit too jarring and graphic at first with the heart popping out of her body, but it works. Big fan of the guys (and girls, maybe) behind the Careerbuilder marketing campaign. Just a fan of the job search companies in general actually, Monster.com was the big winner last year with their "When I Grow Up" commercial...ok I'll stop with the marketing talk.

Hmm Life Water...50 Cent vs Naomi Campbell look-alike...Advantage: Vitamin Water.

Brady gets sacked two plays in a row. Patriots forced to punt. Justin Tuck, ladies and gentlemen, Justin Tuck.

Bud Light losing maaaajor points with Carlos Mencia. Where's the proper market research that shows that EVERYBODY HATES CARLOS MENCIA.

Chicken wings just got delivered. Be back in 15.

Joe Buck : They (the Giants) couldn't have hoped for a better first half. HUHH? No Joe I think they could've. You clown.

Randy was in-bounds--No wait who cares brady fumbles and osi recovers..

HALFTIME: 7-3 Patriots at the half. First half analysis..eh y'know what fuck it we're still in it and we're in it to win it. Let's sit back and enjoy some Tom Petty now, eh?

Terry Bradshaw first half recap: "Hubbabubba New England first down pass interference touchdown lamabama lama lama sgthdgthdrfyxbtustrfhdj...heckuva a football game."

Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers have about as much stage energy as Michael Strahan has teeth. But then again they can play "Free Falling" over the loudspeaker and get away with not actually being on stage and playing it. Guitarist who's name I don't know is currently rocking out with full star power on expert level, I'd say 97% of notes played.

Second Half:
Maroney starts the second half like he started the first with some purposeful running. Let's hope his impact fades as it did the first half.

Antonio Pierce with a nice open field tackle of Kevin Faulk to prevent the first down and force the punt.

Hahaha Shaquille O'neal as a horse jockey hahaha...oh wait what was that commercial for? Idiots. Bridgestone has the typical sophomore slump of a second commercial.

Kevin Faulk is killing us. He's a slippery character. I can almost hear Chris Berman's analysis later tonight..."whoop! whoop!"

I'm blogging shoulder to shoulder with Sam of Vikings Vitals and I have to say he's blogging me right out of the park but hey I'm actually emotionally involved in this thing.

Patriots go for it on 4th and 13 and predictably don't convert. Puzzling play call. Keep it up, Belichick. Kevin Faulk comes up lame on the play, too. Turning point? We'll see...

Eli is gun-slinging like it's 1849.

Jeff Feagles is one of my favorite players--nay, favorite people--in the whole wide world. Another great coffin corner punt. I'd like to make him the godfather of one or two of my children. He's so reliable.

WOWW E-TRADE BABY COMMERCIAL, IT'S FANNNN-TASTIC (copyright NBA)

The Giants pass rush is a beauty to behold. Kavika Mitchell, best free-agent pick up since Marques Colston...hey whatever happened to that guy...

Maroney is back with another strong run, don't know why they aren't going to him more. By the way, Pam Oliver is looking great tonight whether on the sideline in that striking leopard-print top or even in her small headshot shown in corner of the screen.

Still 7-3 at the end of the 3rd quarter. Hmm that 54 point under is looking pretty good now..Hey remember when Plaxico guaranteed keeping the Patriots under 17 points...

I HATE OLD COMMERCIALS SHOWN DURING THE SUPER BOWL, even if it's a pretty good one from American Airlines.

Silly Hanson, you can't punt like the legendary Jeff Feagles. Can you say X-Factor?

Sorry any commercial that features Madonna's "Ray of Light" just isn't ever ever ever EVER going to be good NO MATTER WHAT. Unless there's a talking baby involved. Then maybe you've got a winner on your hands. I'm a sucker for those talking babies. Remember that movie "Look Who's Talking"? How can you not? Dare I say John Travolta's best work. Definitely Kirstie Alley's best work, and that's not at all daring to say. And yet I digress...

Kevin Boss--not to be confused with Boss Bailey, easily confused with some of the best tight ends in NFL history--with the big catch and run only to be tripped up by steroids--I mean, Rodney Harrison.

DAVID TYREE TOUCHHHDOWNNNN WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I refer you to Sam's Vikings Vitals for a more coherent analysis. Peyton Manning is pumped.

Coca-Cola commercial conversation:
"How much did Segway pay to get into that commercial?"
"A lot, but they only have about 5 bucks"

"Don't Mess With The Zohan" looks pretty decent but they couldn't have picked a better name than Zohan? Honestly?

Generally some nice open field tackling from the Giants. That's all I've got to say for now. Big fan of the Brady-getting-thrown-about-like-a-rag-doll-with-curly-red-pigtails montage.

WHOOO E-TRADE BABY IS BACK. And immune to the sophomore slump commercial that previously affected Bridgestone. Not gonna lie, that baby almost got me as excited as I was when David Tyree scored that touchdown. Almost. And great addition with the clown.

Hey it's 8 minutes left in the 4th quarter and the Giants are winning 10-7 with the ball in hand...ok I'm gonna focus on the commercials I can't deal with what may unfold next...

"Hey Will Ferrell likes Bud Light, and he's really funny. Maybe I'll buy Bud Light now instead of Coors Light, no funny comedians drink Coors Light..." Well played, Bud Light. Well played.

John Johnson, Giants trainer, is shown being senile on the sidline. What a legend, they don't name em' like they used to. God, he is old.

Sam just used matriculating in his blog, I'm just not on his level. Oh wait but now he's looking it up on dictionary.com and slowly realizing that it is not the right word choice. Still I haven't seen that level of effort since the Lakers played the T-Wolves where Ronny Turiaf AND Mark Madsen were on the court at the SAME TIME. Incredible.

Patriots are driving and they are now in the red zone. I don't want to talk about it. Give me commercials. I want to see the E-Trade baby.

Fred Robbins is injured and being helped off the field. In unrelated news Justin Tuck closeup without his helmet on is a scary sight and Antonio Pierce has a very shiny bald head. You learn a lot of things when there's a break in play and players take off their helmets.

Oh goodness, 3rd and goal...I'm writing this as it unfolds...oh god..ohgodohgodohgod...when you write it like that it looks like dohgod, that doesn't really make sense now does it...oh god here's the snap...touchdown Randy Moss, I just felt my heart actually sink an inch or two, Corey Webster fell down and Moss was wide open...hard done by I think, we deserved better than that...

NO MATTER HERE COMES CHA BOY ELI WITH THE 2-MINUTE DRILL, MANNING STYLE

I direct you to Sam's blog once again because I can't possibly blog coherently, let alone wittingly, at this time.

Advertising for Victoria's Secret is just not fair. It's like Lebron James playing against any player in the NBA, too easy. In this analogy Adriana Lima is Lebron James. I know the mental picture doesn't really match up but if you think that Lebron James scores at will just as Adriana Lima captures the hearts and penises of men at will..I think it works.

SHDifSHFilshdf ASHHHHHH OMG ELIIIIIII YOU SWEET SWEEET MANNN YOU LEGEND YOURE A FUCKING LEGEND

"I want them to win" - Sam, Vikings fan.

And David Tyree, you're a legend, too. Absurd catch, props to you. "Dap", if you will.

PLAXICOOOOOOOO BURRRRREESSSSSSS TOUUUCHHDOWNNN YOU LEGEND YOU FUCKING LEGENDDDDDDDDD. 17-14 Giants. Oh god my fragile heart can't take this.

Peyton Manninng IS PUMPED.

I wish there was a video feed to go with this running diary so you all could see the sheer ecstasy coursing through my mind, body and soul at the moment of Plaxico making that catch.

HOLLLDD ONNN.

JAY ALFORRDDD. ROOKIE. SIT DOWN THOMAS BRADY, SIT DOWN. I KNOW YOUR FULL NAME ISN'T THOMAS AND I DON'T CARE. YOU CAN KEEP GISELE I'LL TAKE THE 'SHIP. No but seriously, I prefer Adriana.

Can't touch the 72' Dolphins, sorry.

Eli Manning, you're a legend. Plaxico Burress, you're a legend. David Tyree, so are you. Michael Strahan, you did it baby. Jeff Feagles, you were a legend before but now you're a champion, too. And the future godfather of my children.

HANDS RAISED TO THE SKY. IT'S OVER. THE NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS ARE THE 2008 SUPER BOWL CHAMPIONS. I'm gonna take a shot of Taverna Authentic Russian Vodka. Good night.

Oh God. Oh God, No.

Quick game analysis: Watching the first 30 minutes or so I had no doubt that we would start this season off to a flyer. Dominating possession, creating chances left and right, I was just waiting patiently for the breakthrough. Then the minutes dragged on, then Rooney went down and I immediately thought the worst despite him continuing to play the half, then Nani came on for him and it was clear that we we're lacking that finishing touch. We looked like Arsenal. Ugh.

Full credit to Reading, they were organized and played "bend but don't break" defense. Kitson red card was a bit harsh on replays but referees don't make decisions on replays they make em' on what they see in real-time and in real-time that challenge looked nasty. First game of the season at Old Trafford is a daunting task and no one wants to start off with a loss so you can't blame them for putting 10 behind the ball.

Moving on to the more important matter: It's not enough that we absolutely dominate Reading for 90 minutes and even with an extra man end up with a draw, no it's not enough. The boy wonder just has to go and get injured. Out for 3 months could be a legitimate possibility. I'll make this very clear, there is no single player that we couldn't have afforded to lose to injury more than Rooney.

If Ronaldo goes down, PFA award and all, we at least have Anderson and Nani to fill in. If Scholes or Carrick go down, we have Hargreaves or Fletcher (yes, he really isn't that bad). But Rooney, that's a whole other story.

Riddle me this, how is it that currently the only available strikers we have are Carlos Tevez and Dong Fangzhou? DONG EFFIN' FANGZHOU. Nothing against the guy, he sells a lot of jerseys abroad and maybe he'll be good in a couple years, but no way is he ready to contribute to this years campaign. In contrast you have Giuseppe Rossi, a guy who lit up the Reserves two seasons ago and has been chomping at the bit for a full season now. Oh and in his spare time he also scored 9 goals in half a season for Parma. Now how exactly do you bid 10 million pounds for Quagliarella, who scored 11 goals in a full season in Italy, while letting Rossi go for 6 million? Are you meaning to tell me that the conversation where SAF tells Rossi that he's gonna let Smith go to Newcastle and he needs him to play this season because Saha is made of glass and Solskjaer is on his last legs never happens? Really?

Me feeling Rossi was hard done by aside, this is a team that is playing on 4 fronts. The fact that Saha and Solskjaer are only temporarily injured shouldn't be taken lightly. SAF knew that he would only have Rooney, Tevez, and Fangzhou to start the season (and actually the Tevez deal wasn't even finalized by then) when he decided to sell both Smith and Rossi. Just like how currently we don't have to sell Heinze, we didn't have to sell Rossi. It just doesn't make sense.

Looking for solutions: Enough ranting. No crying over spilt milk, well maybe a little crying. I'd like to see Frazier Campbell called up and given a shot, I think he can contribute more than Fangzhou (still can't understand why he isn't out on loan to a Championship side like Arsenal did with Bendtner last year). Also let's not forget, the transfer deadline is August 31st and rumor has it that Eidur Gudjohnsen is available. All for now, cheers.